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Rest in Peace, Joan McGovern
Friday’s Journal News contained the story that Joan McGovern, founder of the Lord’s Pantry, had passed away at the age of 86. Her story was compelling enough; today I found out that Joan was also a fellow real estate agent. Having learned of her life and good work, it is safe to say that we have all lost a treasure. Joan lived in White Plains for 50 years and was mother to 13 children. Her 11th, Tommy, died from complications related to AIDS in 1991. Together with 2 other moms, she founded the Lord’s pantry, a charity in full operation today that brings food to homebound HIV/AIDS patients. According to our MLS announcement today,
In Memoriam
We regret to announce that Joan McGovern, long time friend of the realestate community passed away. Most recently with Century 21 Wolff, Joan helpled start the Lords Pantry charity orginization.
The wake will be Sunday from 2-9 at McMahon, Lyon & Hartnett Funeral Home in White Plains
The funeral will be Monday, 11:00am, at the Church of St. Bernard in White Plains
I linked to her “A Mother’s Story” above, and it will give some insight as to the sort of person we have lost.
We need more Joan McGovern’s in the world.
Autumn in Westchester County
I took this picture this week on the Taconic Parkway on the bridge over the Croton Reservoir. The Taconic, which does from Westchester through Putnam and Dutchess toward Albany, has amazing views of foliage in the fall. It is worth a drive up. But hurry, because in a few weeks the best views will be gone and leaves will fall.
This is the hazy view of the Hudson River toward Rockland County at Eagle Bay, Ossining, where Croton Point is in the foreground. The view is most likely the area of West Haverstraw.
On the Passage of the Gay Marriage Bill in New York
In December of 2008 I posted a blog article articulating my support of gay marriage, and why the real estate industry should support marriage equality.
Tonight, by a margin of 33-29 with two Republicans crossing over, the State Senate of New York agreed with me, paving the way for the bill to be signed into law by Governor Cuomo. This is a very, very good development for the State of New York and for all of us as human beings. For the first time in my memory, New York is actually ahead of the curve in something, and that something, Liberty, is no trivial thing.
In 1998, while selling real estate in Rochester, NY I was approached to buy an ad in what was then known as the Rainbow pages, sort of like a directory of gay and gay friendly enterprises. It seemed like a smart business move. My broker at the time, good man that he still is, simply said that everyone’s money was green. And I remember like yesterday how my first client from that ad explained to me that before he made an offer on a home he loved that he wanted to show it to his daughter.
His daughter?
Yes, I learned, he came out when he was married and couldn’t continue to live a lie to please family and society. He had to be him. It was no short discussion, but in the dozens of transactions I have closed since with LGBT clients I have heard so many stories from good, wonderful people about how it simply is not easy to be gay, and sometimes it is hell. For a guy who hates bullies, this has always broken my heart.
When I started my firm in 2005, one of the first niches I spought was to put the company on every gay-friendly business directory I could find. And thanks in part to dozens of fantastic clients from the gay and lesbian community, it has helped sustain and grow my company through one hell of a crappy market cycle. But beyond that I have always felt like I was making a difference, lighting my own candle in a way in a society that still snickers and kvetches about treating good people with dignity.
For our part, it hasn’t always been easy either. A few years ago I moved my office from my home in no small part to some anonymous harassment for working with my chosen clientele. It wasn’t the only reason, but it was a consideration. Someday, I hope that a gay friendly business of any kind is as necessary as a buggy whip. But for now, with the stakes as high as they in in a matter as important as housing, I continue to do what I do. I am proud that my state, not known for being too swift lately, is ahead of the curve as my professional trade organization is with regard to equality.
I hope the new law brings more people to our state, which has lost almost 900,000 people since the 2000 census. I hope more marriages mean more homes bought, more lawnmowers, more refrigerators, and more energy to our state. I sincerely believe that I am on the right side of history, and that tonight’s news is not a legislative anomaly. I am happy for all my friends and clients that a little more sun can shine on their face. And I am ready to go to work with more people, gay and straight, who value liberty for all, no matter who they choose to spend their lives with.
Journal News Favors Marriage Fairness
The Gannet Journal News has published a well-reasoned editorial today in favor of marriage fairness in New York State. While polls indicate that the citizenry favors gay marriage 58% to less than 40% for those opposed, the issue remains in political gridlock. To its credit, Westchester County does have domestic partnership recognition, but true rights and privileges that come with legal marital status remain elusive.
Sadly, the Empire State was once the leader of the charge in breaking sown barriers. We were a big part of the underground railroad, we produced Susan B Anthony, and the original establishment progressive, Teddy Roosevelt, called New York home. And that’s the tp of the iceberg. Now we have a bunch of upstate yahoos and various other hacks obstructing an obvious blight on personal freedom while other states do the right thing.
As the populace changes in attitude toward the breaking down of barriers, I expect the political football to bounce in the direction of positive change.
In the meantime, we’ll keep lighting our candle in our industry. I will remain vocal on the subject of marital fairness until the full rights of marriage are intact for everyone, not just the politically expedient.
Housing Discrimination Found in Westchester & Hudson Valley
The Journal News of Westchester County recently ran a story regarding a report on housing discrimination in Westchester, Putnam and Rockland Counties. The results are awful. A study conducted in 2010 found that in 17.5% of the instances of study conducted by Westchester Residential Opportunities that discrimination occurred. In 2005 a HUD-funded study found discrimination in a whopping 46.5% of the cases. While the report framed the numbers as an improvement for Westchester, I view the numbers as relative in the context of awful. In nearby Rockland County, the percentage of discrimination was found to be 35%. Three firms in Rockland and one in Westchester have had complaints filed against them as a result.
I would like to think that the public can expect licensees to have a high standard in conduct and that the expectancy of discrimination would be 0%. Not even in 2011 is this the case by a long shot. This is why we do the work that we do. Discrimination in housing is a reality, and who you choose to represent you in the sale or lease of a home is crucial.
On a Lighter Note
We are in negotiations on a residential lease and I had to step in to assist one of my fantastic associate brokers. It looks like we’ll get things sorted out, but I had to take the listing agent on, which I’m only too happy to do when the circumstances call for it.
My client referred to me as the “Straight Eye for the Gay Guy.”
I love it!
Boston Sports Columnist: I Am Gay
Widely-read Boston Herald columnist and author Steve Buckley has come out in his column today. Thus far the piece has generated almost 400 comments, and mixing the subject matter into the already volatile Boston sports world has yielded some fireworks. Hate is always removed from these online forums as per the Herald’s community guidelines, but I have to admit that to smiling at those who say things like “so what? your column still stinks.” or “congratulations. I hate the Red Sox.” That’s just my Yankee-rooting, Boston-hating self observing the landscape.
What is encouraging about those sorts of comments, which may not be clear if you aren’t an ardent sports fan, is that Buckley is still one of the guys. What is also encouraging is that we are hopefully approaching a state in society where being gay is just another thing about a person. It’s no big deal. So what. Pass the salt.
It may also portend the inevitable exit from the closet for a professional athlete. Just this past spring, Sports Illustrated ran a story on Gareth Thomas, the star rugby player from Wales who is the only openly gay professional athlete in a major sport. Thus far, active player in the NBA, NFL, NHL or Major League Baseball has come out. Will that change? I hope so.
Why should I hope so? Why do I care? I am, after all, a straight guy with a wife and 4 kids. I don’t have a skin in the game. Actually, we all have a skin in the game. A transparent, open and accepting society benefits everyone. And if you are like me with a straight everything and kids, consider the possibility that someday your son or daughter comes out to you. It isn’t going to be enough that you still love them. You are going to start really giving a damn that the world they go out into also says “so what.”
So, to Mr Buckley, thanks for helping blaze the trail for those that come after you.
Oh, and Steve: Go Yankees. The Red Sox suck. Bucky Dent.
Gay-Straight Alliances in New York’s Suburbs
In light of yesterday’s news on the new GSA in Utah, I thought I’d let you know that there is also a GSA organization right here in Westchester County and the Hudson Valley. The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has chapters in Yorktown, Nyack and Milton, New York.
From their website:
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
We believe that such an atmosphere engenders a positive sense of self, which is the basis of educational achievement and personal growth. Since homophobia and heterosexism undermine a healthy school climate, we work to educate teachers, students and the public at large about the damaging effects these forces have on youth and adults alike. We recognize that forces such as racism and sexism have similarly adverse impacts on communities and we support schools in seeking to redress all such inequities.
You can’t overstate the importance of this work. You just can’t. I abhor bullies; I was always on the small side (still am) and even though I went to Catholic school (peace and love, right?), there was one jerk who had it in for me. For 2 years he made me feel like shit. Eventually, I decided he didn’t matter and he sort of went away. But it isn’t always that way. If someone is a homophobe or bigot, or they are undecided but come from a home environment that isn’t enlightened or mature, they could “go to the dark side” in the absence of any force or influence that would dissuade bigotry or intolerance.
The Hudson Valley GSLEN has been around since 1990, or well after I graduated high school. They run good programs, like no name calling week, and other anti-bullying resources, in addition, of course to fostering people to LIKE EACH OTHER.
As I have said before, benign neglect, or simply the absence of bullying or mistreatment isn’t enough. Straight people need to stick their necks out to reverse the institutional roadblocks gay folks face to make things right once and for all. GSAs are and excellent start, they are here in the New York suburbs, and that, my friends, is a very good thing.
Gay Straight Alliance now in …ST George, Utah
I can think if very few places less likely than heavily Mormon Utah where there would be a gay-straight alliance. Yet there in the New York Times today is the news story of just that. Given the garbage I see here in New York, I can only imagine the oasis that the Utah pride Center must be for the LGBT population in St George. From the article:
The new alliances in St. George were part of a drastic rise this fall in the number of clubs statewide, reflecting new activism by gay and lesbian students, an organizing drive by a gay rights group and the intervention of the American Civil Liberties Union, which has threatened to sue districts that put up arbitrary hurdles. Last January, only 9 high schools in Utah had active Gay-Straight Alliances; by last month, the number had reached 32.
The length to which some groups have gone to suppress this activity is incredible. However, in my view it is a war of attrition. The old farts that frown on GSA (gay-straight alliances) will eventually get old and become fertilizer, while the younger generation that wasn’t raised on fear, hate and ignorance will raise the tide.
I’m 43. There were no GSA clubs in schools in the 1980s when I was in high school and college. Gay people were in the closet. That’s no way to live. Decent honorable straight people shouldn’t just offer gay folks benign neglect. Decent honorable people should break a sweat to right the wrongs and do away with the stigmas and stereotypes that we have bullied on the LGBT community as a society.
Good news to start 2011.
Just for Christmas: Rudolph May, in Fact, be Regina
A fun post for Christmas Eve: a hunter in West Virginia (I know, redundant) has felled a deer with antlers that turned out to be… a doe.
For the uninformed, it typically goes like this: Male deer are bucks, and bucks have antlers. Female deer, or doe, do not have antlers. Typically. From the AP article:
“It can happen,” Todd Dowdy, a wildlife biologist with the West Virginia Department of Natural Resources, told the AP. “I don’t have any statistics on it to tell you how often they appear or how rare it is, but it’s very rare.”
I’ll go out on the limb and say that the other deer absolutely didn’t care about the antlers and let their late friend play all the reindeer games she wanted, antlers or no antlers.
Merry Christmas.
