In Memoriam
We regret to announce that Joan McGovern, long time friend of the realestate community passed away. Most recently with Century 21 Wolff, Joan helpled start the Lords Pantry charity orginization.
The wake will be Sunday from 2-9 at McMahon, Lyon & Hartnett Funeral Home in White Plains
The funeral will be Monday, 11:00am, at the Church of St. Bernard in White Plains

I linked to her “A Mother’s Story” above, and it will give some insight as to the sort of person we have lost.

We need more Joan McGovern’s in the world.

I took this picture this week on the Taconic Parkway on the bridge over the Croton Reservoir. The Taconic, which does from Westchester through Putnam and Dutchess toward Albany, has amazing views of foliage in the fall. It is worth a drive up. But hurry, because in a few weeks the best views will be gone and leaves will fall.

This is the hazy view of the Hudson River toward Rockland County at Eagle Bay, Ossining, where Croton Point is in the foreground. The view is most likely the area of West Haverstraw.

Telling my dad that I am gay-LIVE

Tonight, by a margin of 33-29 with two Republicans crossing over, the State Senate of New York agreed with me, paving the way for the bill to be signed into law by Governor Cuomo. This is a very, very good development for the State of New York and for all of us as human beings. For the first time in my memory, New York is actually ahead of the curve in something, and that something, Liberty, is no trivial thing.

In 1998, while selling real estate in Rochester, NY I was approached to buy an ad in what was then known as the Rainbow pages, sort of like a directory of gay and gay friendly enterprises. It seemed like a smart business move. My broker at the time, good man that he still is, simply said that everyone’s money was green. And I remember like yesterday how my first client from that ad explained to me that before he made an offer on a home he loved that he wanted to show it to his daughter.

His daughter?

Yes, I learned, he came out when he was married and couldn’t continue to live a lie to please family and society. He had to be him. It was no short discussion, but in the dozens of transactions I have closed since with LGBT clients I have heard so many stories from good, wonderful people about how it simply is not easy to be gay, and sometimes it is hell. For a guy who hates bullies, this has always broken my heart.

When I started my firm in 2005, one of the first niches I spought was to put the company on every gay-friendly business directory I could find. And thanks in part to dozens of fantastic clients from the gay and lesbian community, it has helped sustain and grow my company through one hell of a crappy market cycle. But beyond that I have always felt like I was making a difference, lighting my own candle in a way in a society that still snickers and kvetches about treating good people with dignity.

For our part, it hasn’t always been easy either. A few years ago I moved my office from my home in no small part to some anonymous harassment for working with my chosen clientele. It wasn’t the only reason, but it was a consideration. Someday, I hope that a gay friendly business of any kind is as necessary as a buggy whip. But for now, with the stakes as high as they in in a matter as important as housing, I continue to do what I do. I am proud that my state, not known for being too swift lately, is ahead of the curve as my professional trade organization is with regard to equality.

I hope the new law brings more people to our state, which has lost almost 900,000 people since the 2000 census. I hope more marriages mean more homes bought, more lawnmowers, more refrigerators, and more energy to our state. I sincerely believe that I am on the right side of history, and that tonight’s news is not a legislative anomaly. I am happy for all my friends and clients that a little more sun can shine on their face. And I am ready to go to work with more people, gay and straight, who value liberty for all, no matter who they choose to spend their lives with.

Sadly, the Empire State was once the leader of the charge in breaking sown barriers. We were a big part of the underground railroad, we produced Susan B Anthony, and the original establishment progressive, Teddy Roosevelt, called New York home. And that’s the tp of the iceberg. Now we have a bunch of upstate yahoos and various other hacks obstructing an obvious blight on personal freedom while other states do the right thing.

As the populace changes in attitude toward the breaking down of barriers, I expect the political football to bounce in the direction of positive change.

In the meantime, we’ll keep lighting our candle  in our industry. I will remain vocal on the subject of marital fairness until the full rights of marriage are intact for everyone, not just the politically expedient.

I would like to think that the public can expect licensees to have a high standard in conduct and that the expectancy of discrimination would be 0%. Not even in 2011 is this the case by a long shot. This is why we do the work that we do. Discrimination in housing is a reality, and who you choose to represent you in the sale or lease of a home is crucial.

My client referred to me as the “Straight Eye for the Gay Guy.”

I love it!

What is encouraging about those sorts of comments, which may not be clear if you aren’t an ardent sports fan, is that Buckley is still one of the guys. What is also encouraging is that we are hopefully approaching a state in society where being gay is just another thing about a person. It’s no big deal. So what. Pass the salt.

It may also portend the inevitable exit from the closet for a professional athlete. Just this past spring, Sports Illustrated ran a story on Gareth Thomas, the star rugby player from Wales who is the only openly gay professional athlete in a major sport. Thus far, active player in the NBA, NFL, NHL or Major League Baseball has come out. Will that change? I hope so.

Why should I hope so? Why do I care? I am, after all, a straight guy with a wife and 4 kids. I don’t have a skin in the game. Actually, we all have a skin in the game. A transparent, open and accepting society benefits everyone. And if you are like me with a straight everything and kids, consider the possibility that someday your son or daughter comes out to you. It isn’t going to be enough that you still love them. You are going to start really giving a damn that the world they go out into also says “so what.”

So, to Mr Buckley, thanks for helping blaze the trail for those that come after you.

Oh, and Steve: Go Yankees. The Red Sox suck. Bucky Dent.

From their website:

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

We believe that such an atmosphere engenders a positive sense of self, which is the basis of educational achievement and personal growth. Since homophobia and heterosexism undermine a healthy school climate, we work to educate teachers, students and the public at large about the damaging effects these forces have on youth and adults alike. We recognize that forces such as racism and sexism have similarly adverse impacts on communities and we support schools in seeking to redress all such inequities.

You can’t overstate the importance of this work. You just can’t. I abhor bullies; I was always on the small side (still am) and even though I went to Catholic school (peace and love, right?), there was one jerk who had it in for me. For 2 years he made me feel like shit. Eventually, I decided he didn’t matter and he sort of went away. But it isn’t always that way. If someone is a homophobe or bigot, or they are undecided but come from a home environment that isn’t enlightened or mature, they could “go to the dark side” in the absence of any force or influence that would dissuade bigotry or intolerance.

The Hudson Valley GSLEN has been around since 1990, or well after I graduated high school. They run good programs, like no name calling week, and other anti-bullying resources, in addition, of course to fostering people to LIKE EACH OTHER.

As I have said before, benign neglect, or simply the absence of bullying or mistreatment isn’t enough. Straight people need to stick their necks out to reverse the institutional roadblocks gay folks face to make things right once and for all. GSAs are and excellent start, they are here in the New York suburbs, and that, my friends, is a very good thing.